Elephant hairs are prickly

Today we did a full day tour with Thom's elephant camp here in Pai. We spent the morning on a lovely bamboo raft cruise. And by lovely, I mean pretty pointless. If you ever come here, don't do the bamboo rafting trip.

But, the afternoon was rescued by our incredible elephant ride. Our guide was named john, as in Johnny Walker. But, not Jack Daniel's? Not cool... I'm not sure if he was refusing to tell us his real name or if it was just that he didn't speak a lick of English.

The weather was absurd. It actually was borderline torrential downpour. The rain was moving sideways at some points. Thankfully, our guide was using a broken umbrella to help "instruct" the elephant.

We were obviously concerned about and on the watch for animal cruelty. But, i didn't think it was bad. They did have sharp sticks to reinforce commands, but it looks more like a poker than a knife. No broken skin. And, I bet taking us for a ride is a lot easier than logging all day, which is what the elephants would be doing otherwise.

So, as you might expect, riding an elephant bareback is about as comfortable as sticking a giant bone up your butt, which is actually how it kind of works. Not to mention the rashes we got on our legs from his rough skin. I'm in serious need of a Thai Butt Massage... Thankfully they are on every corner.

Our intrepid team consisted of 2 germans, 2 texans, 2 scotts, 2 danes, 5 elephants, 5 guides, and us. We began our journey on a trail through the jungle. Well, it was at least a bit on the jungally side. Our elephant was pretty hungry, as they supposedly eat around 300 kilos a day. This meant that he would wander off the trail almost every 5 minutes to eat again, despite the nervous cries from our guide, who was sitting on his head.

Johnny was pretty great. He only freaked out and grabbed us to make sure we wouldn't fall
a couple times. The rest of the time, he sang lullabies to the elephant and tapped the melody on his giant skull.

We also learned a lot on our trip. For example, when a nearby elephant let loose a flood gate of pee, Johnny gleefully pointed and shouted "Change Beer!" which is a local brew that provides massive developing world headaches. I had wondered where it came from...

After a couple pretty scary traverses up and down steep ravines, my butt turned numb and the pain subsided. We then arrived at a river.

What happened next was amazingly fun. Our elephants slowly walked into the river and then bucked us each violently into the water. We commenced "swimming with the elephants." The elephants suddenly seemed like cuddly playthings that we could easily climb all over. You could sit on his neck while he bucked like in a rodeo. Or hold onto his face and tail, which he would lift up and launch you 10 yards. It was actually pretty awesome. Don't worry, we got it all on video and will post the youtube link as soon as we get back.

[rk]